Fragile and Broken
by soccergrrl62
Summary: Camille thinks she found her true love in Logan.  But what happens when she starts to pines for bad boy James attention? Rated T for bad language.


**Hi Rushers :) This is my first story for Big Time Rush, even though I've been a Rusher for a REALLY long time. :) Please leave a comment, with a compliment or constructive criticism. I really hope you like it ;) **

* * *

><p>His tender lips graze upon my neck, perfectly puckering and kissing each part of my exposed skin. My eyes were open, guilty of what I was feeling. I shouldn't be doing this, I knew it was wrong. But it felt, so nice, so different, and I liked it. He stopped, sensing my tense body, and I shivered and he looked into my eyes. When will I ever get used to those eyes, brown, like warm chocolate?<p>

"Something wrong?" he asked. His hand was positioned at my bare stomach, ready to tackle my neck again, or maybe something lower. This was the moment, I told myself. I could be a good girl, and I could leave him, going back to what good girls do. Going out with their boyfriend, getting work done, getting promotions, making dinner…

But that all sounded boring. It was in my comfort zone, something I had lived with for the past 22 years of my life. I wanted excitement. I wanted something to make my life worth living, my make my taste buds tingle, to make my eyes tear up. And he was it.

"Nothing," I responded, and he went back to kissing my neck. He surprised me by stopping, yet again, only to hold my face in his strong hands and kiss me softly on the lips, keeping on reaching back so I would get desperate for more.

James Diamond made a good girl like me go bad.

It all started when I wanted to pick Logan up from work one day. I brought him his favorite Vanilla Bean Frap, ready for him to get in the car and drive me away to the movies, so we could blissfully kiss while ignoring the 7 dollar shit we paid to see.

"Hey babe," he greeted me, pecking me on the lips. His sweet vanilla tasting lips made me go back for more, eagerly and soon he put down his drink, I put down my car keys, and we were holding each other like our bodies were new, and fascinating.

"Get a room!" I heard someone yell, and we broke away with a smile on our faces. God, how was I so lucky to get a guy like Logan Mitchell? I stared into his eyes, brown, like warm chocolate, as he stared into mine. I used to listen to his music, nonstop in my room, bouncing around like an idiot as I tried to make my voice match his sexy one. He was like my Prince William, if I was Kate Middleton. But even though I wasn't, I still felt like a princess with him around.

Someone bopped him in the back of the head, and I broke away from him so he could wrestle his best friend, Kendall Knight. I laughed at their faces, playful, yet competitive. Logan finally took a step back, causing Kendall to fall into the ground.

"You guys are so funny," Carlos sauntered up, in a high girl voice with him twirling his short hair. Kendall pushed him away in the stomach, and I couldn't help but let out a giggle. These guys were my best friends, and they were about the sweetest guys that I knew. Kendall was always around to hear me moan about my fatty thighs, or cry about how I wasn't good enough. Carlos was the one who always made me laugh, and was pretty much my drinking buddy. And Logan, well, Logan was the sweetest man alive. He could do all of the above, and make me feel like I was the only girl in the world.

Logan put his arm around me, and I sighed, leaning into his chest. We left Carlos and Kendall, and started to walk towards the recording booth, his strong fist enclosing my petite fragile hand. He was protective of me, but I liked that. I liked the way he rescued me, not that I needed it, but it felt nice to know someone cared.

"So I was wondering for dinner, we could go old school. My mom sent me this pasta recipe, and I wanted to try it out," I said, raising my eyebrows. We usually ate out, because neither of us cooked very well, but I wanted to try to make dinner for once.

"That sounds great," Logan said, wrinkling up his nose. I hit him on the arm playfully, because whenever he lied he did that. But it was hard to stay mad at him for long, because he would make it up with a kiss. Which he did, putting his puckered lips onto mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, ready to kiss him more, but he pulled back. I raised my eyebrows in a questioning way, as if to ask why he pulled back. "But I'm probably going to stay back late tonight. Carlos, Kendall and I have to still finish writing our songs." He laughed, seeing my fake pout. "Oh, we can try your pasta mystery tomorrow. I'm sorry." He pecked me on the cheek, which I rolled my eyes at trying not to smile at the cute gesture. However, it started to show.

"I see you smiling!" I tried to run away from him, but Logan picked me up. He twirled me around while I fought with him unsuccessfully, yelling at him to put me down. We were so caught up in our own little world, that the guy behind him had to clear his throat twice before Logan looked behind him.

"I'm going to leave now, okay?" the mystery voice said, and I turned around suspecting the worst. I rolled my eyes when I found that I was right. James Diamond.

Normally I hate to stereotype people, but James Diamond fitted the white guy pimp jerk stereotype completely. For one, he went out to clubs every night, keeping the same expression for everything. He grinded girls as if they were coffee, drank tons of alcohol but never seemed to get wasted. One lucky drunk-after-one-beer girl would get to go to his 40 million dollar home, complete with a lap pool, where he would lay her on his bed and have sex with her. And the girls he had sex with were the same: white bitches. You know the "I get all my money from daddy" and "I flunked out of college, but it's okay because my looks will get me through life" and "I didn't pay for these boobs!" The next morning, he would dump the hangover desperate girl on the streets, give her money for a cab, take her number out of pity, and never call her again, claiming he was "too busy at work". I couldn't believe he was even in the band Big Time Rush, or that he was one of Logan's close friends.

"Cool man," Logan left me and went to high five him. Suddenly, out of the blue, he asked, "Hey, do you mind if you take Camille with you?"

The Starbucks drink I was casually sipping out of quickly sputtered out of my mouth as I gave a gasp of surprise. After Logan patted me on the back nervously, Kendall and Carlos came over to watch with amusement, and James stared over with a cool bored expression, Logan took me to a corner.

"What's up?" Logan asked, as I started to wipe my spit off his shirt.

"Well…it's that, you know I don't like James," I said, rolling my eyes in an "I'm so over it" fashion, hoping that he wouldn't get mad at me. "I'll just stay here with you. I can pick up a book from the library." I smiled, hoping that it was somewhat cute. Truthfully I could babysit Kendall's younger sister than hang out with James. And that was saying something, because ever since Katie hit puberty, all she wanted to do was lose her soul cheerleading, dying her hair into a crappy blonde color that could blind anyone, and talk about clothes, boys, and makeup constantly.

Logan frowned at me, and I quickly felt ashamed. It was something that frown did to me, always making it seem like I was doing something wrong. I sighed, holding it out for a long time, making it obnoxiously loud and rolled my eyes. "Well, maybe, just for tonight."

Logan's frown quickly became a smile. "Thanks babe," he said, pecking me on the lip. I went in for more, savoring every single goosebump that came down my arm. I could feel the smile coming on his lips, and I could taste the vanilla from the drink he just downed. We broke away, joining foreheads, and staring into each other's eyes.

"Aw yeah, get some," Carlos cooed to us, and we broke away. Logan rolled his eyes and laughed with his buddies, but I hung back, waiting for Logan to come back. "Do you guys need anything? Snacks, a condom? Let me know." Carlos was literally rolling on the floor laughing. I giggled with him, not because I thought it was funny, but for his reaction. I pecked Logan on the cheek, hugged Kendall goodbye, and shouted at Carlos. "Bye you idiot, I'm leaving!" Carlos quickly came up, and patted me on the head.

"You know, for a tiny girl, you sure are fierce when you kiss," Carlos slyly responded. "Mind if I have a turn?" He jokingly puckered his lip and closed his eyes. I rolled my eyes and jokingly slapped Carlos. He looked at me in shock. "You little bitch!" He jokingly said, laughing and rubbing the place where I slapped him. I smiled while I rolled my eyes, patted him on the shoulder, and left him.

James was standing against the wall, arms crossed. He took out the cigarette hanging from his mouth, and threw it on the ground, rubbing it in with the sole of his shoe. He didn't even bother saying bye to the guys. "Are you coming now?" His tone implied that I was childish, too immature for him. I instantly became a thousand more times insecure.

"Yep, let's go," I said, as brightly as I could. Expecting a smile from him, he turned around, and started to walk away from me, leaving me behind. I quickly jogged behind him, quickly catching up to him, as his swagger walk was painfully slow. I tried to walk ahead to hint that he was walking slowly, but he just kept walking at the same pace. Sighing loudly, hopefully signaling that I was annoyed, I walked besides him.

"So I didn't know that you smoked?" I asked, even though it was supposed to be a statement. Truth was, I was nervous. I wanted to bond with James, to make Logan happy. But his cool stare and bored expression made me feel like I was the stupid blonde girl he had picked up from the club. I was good for nothing, and as hard as I tried to be intelligent and witty, I would never be.

He just stared at me, making me feel idiotic for asking the question. I quickly turned my head to the ground, focusing on getting one foot in front of the other without tripping, which would leave James Diamond probably thinking I was mentally incapable of breathing subconsciously.

Soon we were in the car, and I was trying to make myself as small as possible, trying to keep myself in the one position I was in, which was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever felt. I looked at James out of the corner of my eye. Driving with one hand on the wheel, the other was on the armrest, fingers tapping to the beat of the song. His shades were one, as was his leather jacket, and his hair looked perfect. I quickly looked away. I was aware James was hot, but he was a jerk, which totally took everything God had given him away.

Suddenly, he turned down the road, and my uncomfortable position was lost. I grasped the seat, trying to not sway myself into him, trying to make myself still be small and not move. Alas, I was flung against the window, my cheek smearing the glass. I detatched myself from it. Of course, while I was being the idiot I was, James was cool as ever, swagger not lost, and was pulling out a new cigar.

"Uh, where are you taking me?" I questioned, because, from the way the street looked, this wasn't where my apartment was, where Logn and I lived together. I just wanted to switch into my stupid pajamas, order some Chinese food, skype my best friend, and watch New Girl until my boyfriend came home. Then I would lie about my day, telling him lies about how James and I were totally into the same things, and then he would be so proud of me we would have sex. Was that too much for a girl to ask for? I didn't think so.

"We're going to the club," he responded, rolling down his window, and dropping his cigar onto the road. I widened my eyes at him.

"The club? Why?" I said, the words rolling out of my mouth as if they were foreign. Honestly, clubs weren't my thing. Sometimes I would go out with the girls, just for a girl's night out. Or sometimes Logan and I would go, just to dance the night away. But I always went to be crazy and loud, not to be sexy and ass-grabbing. And definetly not with James Diamond.

"Because I want to," he responded, as if that was enough of an explanation. God, he was so conceited. I was feeling super pissed now. I wasn't about to take orders from some prissy boy who cared more about his looks than he did about his mother. Okay, yeah, I wasn't exactly sure how much he cared about his mother, but I didn't give a crap at that moment. I wanted to go home and that was final. No club, no drinks, no sexy girls making me feel insecure. Just home, where my pug was and where the popcorn and the TV and everything else was.

I was about to tell him to stop the car when he turned to me. Even through his sunglasses I could see his eyes. And they were telling me to shut the hell up. Suddenly, I felt my cheeks burn up, my head go woozy and all I could think about was how much of an idiot I was. His glare made me feel like I was in the eighth grade, being picked on by the popular girls for the skirt I wore. Or being the last one picked on the volleyball team. Stupid and useless.

He stopped the car, and I looked up. Fire and Ice. The most notorious club in Hollywood, known for its drug abuse, its easily drunk pretty girls, and its great grinding music. I've heard they keep bedrooms in that club for you-know-what. And I've heard multiple stories about accidental pregnancies in one of these bedrooms.

James unlocks his car, and I step down from hit. Unlike him, in his white T-shirt, his designer jeans, and his cool kicks, I was dressed in leggings and a long shirt with the Dallas Cowboys on the front. I felt super sexy, I can tell you that. Not.

"Are you coming?" I looked up from my thoughts to see James, with a bored expression of course, look at me and beckon me. I seriously did not want to go. I was starting to get pissed again. I had enough money to call a cab. I was going to tell him to stuff his Marbolos up his ass, when I got a call. I could tell from my tingling feet it was Logan.

"Hey, babe," I smiled into the phone, as I watched James in front of me roll his eyes, then check out some girls, moving first from the boobs to their asses. I fought the urge to puke, especially as I say their underwear skirts, and their shirts, which just covered their nipples.

"Camille. Kendall is writing the sweetest song, and I thought of you," Logan said, and heart sped up and I immediately felt happy. All the rage I felt towards James went away. I pressed the phone close to my ear, as if that would make us closer together. "I love you so much."

I wanted to just sit down and just talk to Logan and kiss him and hold his hand. How did I ever get such a sweet guy? Normal guys just are tools and take advantage of you. Logan just…he made my heart flutter, he made me believe in love again, he made my life.

I was going to tell him all of this, when he spoke again. Not wanting to interrupt what sweet thing he was going to say next, I let him continue. "Thanks again for trying to be friends with James. That means the world to me. You are the best. I have to go, our manager is yelling at us, okay bye!" He hung up before I told him the great news that I was calling a cab so I could go home and get ready for bed. I pressed the red button on my phone for a long time, turning it off, and faced James. To my surprise, the fake tan orange girl was no where to be seen, and James was looking at me with a pained expression.

"Are you coming inside?" he asked. I shrugged my shoulders, and walked up next to him. I thought of Logan.

"Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeps, now leave a comment please :D *pleading eyes*<strong>


End file.
